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Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Can You Be A Cynic about Love?

I often wonder if I am cynical about love or just the likelihood that I will experience it. Today I read one of my favorite works of poetry Desiderata. (Click the link to read it.) It inspired my latest rant. I have decided to share my philosophy about love and why I have been a cynic and to be clear I have decided to define our terms for this blog:
Cynic: a person who believes that only selfishness motivates human actions and who disbelieves in or minimizes selfless acts or disinterested points of view.
Love: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

To begin I am a lover. I love hard and deep, passionately and patiently. I love like my heart will never be broken and like the object of my affection is incapable of wrong. I see the good and work with the bad; I prioritize affection and care to the point of distraction. If given the chance I could be the happiest homemaker and mother in the world! With a strong beautiful and productive family that is the both successful and effective.

The problem is that I know what I can give but I am helpless to what I receive. Because I know the magnitude of my female power I am determined to be loved adequately. I refuse to be disregarded, but I loathe being a distraction. The problem may be the extremes. I want to be cared for but not taken care of. I want to be desired but not worshiped. I want a partner not a master and my lover must first be my friend. Trust is paramount therefore transparency and honesty are essential to the success of the relationship. I have a distaste for the judgmental and therefore I make every effort to not finalize my opinions. (Side note we all have and form opinions based on the information we receive, passing judgment settles that opinion as the absolute and usually requires some convincing to change. It also colors your responses and closes your mind.)

Now on to why I am a cynic! People are inherently selfish and when you love them adequately no matter how much they love you back they want everything and because they haven’t been asked for much they are thrown off by demands. I really don’t get people most of the time anyway. I believe in the power of people doing things for good but I see so many devious efforts at kindness that I am jaded.

Because I live free of motives, I am constantly told that I am naive, which as I keep on living I realize may be true. I want to live life louder and love harder I am just uninterested in the lack of reciprocation. I can not change this plan, so I am planning a trip to Eat & Pray as for the love thing I think I am good. I wonder if by definition I am not a cynic. Hmmm?

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Figuring out Where you Are in Your SEASON

Many women have dreams. A desire that they always wanted to fulfil. Often times we think we know how to make that dream come true. The reality is our plans for breaking into our dream career may not fit who we are anymore. I always wanted to work in television. I have been successful in the career that was chosen for me, but in my mind and my heart I always felt I had been robbed of my true destiny.

The key to knowing is to pay attention to what is working in your life and be grateful for it. If you have a job that you don't feel serves your purpose seek God and serve your purpose with your hobbies and after work plans.

As I live I learn that when the bible says that your gift will make room for you it doesn't include that the gift has to be cultivated to grow into something that people will give place to. Many people can sing but the gift never makes room if they never start belting out tunes, and to be better they have to be heard by people that know what they are listening to. This is how all gifts can be prepared for the spotlight.

The other thing is that you  can miss God if you are a procrastinator. There will be a period of time in your life that you can get anything you want, the stars align and you have to take advantage of that. You have to not procrastinate. Take the meetings and send out the business plans. Take advantage of your time. Whether it's big like that or that or small like getting extra funding for your after-school initiative. Their is that moment when you are anointed with favor and influence. This is the time to strike for whatever you want.

In the meantime, listen. Listen to your spirit and listen to the people around you. Listen to God inside you and get prepared. Make yourself ready for the moment that the iron is Hot because it won't always be the season to try the new but it will always be the season to be prepared for what you are believing for.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Living Your Resume vs Your Eulogy

Today the “friend in my head” Arianna Huffington has inspired me to write about morality. As a survivor of several suicide attempts and a few other bad ideas that could have resulted in the loss of my life, I think I have a little to say on the matter and so I will say on.

Arianna’s post was mainly about how we should live our Eulogy instead of our Resume. Well, I think I have spent my life on my eulogy and the stress that plagues me is that as a Capricorn success for me is measured in the tangible. So while I have nurtured beautiful relationships and carried my friends through perilous times in their life. I have remembered the small things and laughed til I cried I have kissed the bottom of my baby’s feet and held hands open to receive the first step. I have lived the Eulogy I have loved and been loved. Yet two things evade my grasp.

To be lost in love with a husband and to thrive in a career that it is not just my job. I have come close to both and yet the brass ring slipped from my fingers. While I can do very little to control the husband phenom, I can handle what I define the success. I have a new desire and unfortunately it does not involve the sweet moments of life. It involves hours alone in front of a computer. Late nights and really big meetings. It involves preparation and unavailability. As such I have subscribed to more blogs on success and find the time to check out what the major minds in business are thinking daily.
I seek to be absent from life’s precious moments. Call me a cynic but I’m over it and if they wait for me after the tangible success comes I will welcome them and wait to experience them. But for know I am off to push for my Holy Grail of Success.

Since I am now officially back on the blog scene, I will tell you all about it.

Getting Success for Myself!

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Long Live The Lists

Today I am in a different place than my usual state of non-resistance. For the first time in months I want to be productive. Not in the "we all want to do better then sit on our butts and do nothing kind of way". More in a planning kinda way. I recently read, as in last night, a blog post that reminded me that successful people make lists. The none-neurotic can barely believe that but it’s true for the mental. We need a plan and steps to follow.

If you read this blog, then you know I love real life examples, sometime to a fault. Nevertheless my real life example involves the truth of someone I know and love dearly. He is a planner and a list maker and he is enormously successful as long as he sticks to the plan, when he goes off the grid he loses money and goes in debt and while the nature of his business remains relatively the same he rises and falls based on his ability to adhere to his plan. I wonder of he knows this? I ask because I learned this by watching him and how he operates through life.

And like all smart girls I compared it to my own. I realized that I am at my best when I make list, and agendas. For me this is sanity. Even with the time it takes to make the list I get more done in a day than I would without it. I need to be around order to function at my best and knowing that when I look at my work desk and my bedroom I am barely functioning. I make lists for everything all the activities for the house, the chores and the steps to complete them, where I need to shop and what I need to buy. Then I break down the lists into tasks and add them to a calendar, thus creating daily agendas,

Lists are King for Me and the ruler of my success. Not literally I believe in God, that statement was not meant to be anti-Semitic.


Long-Lives the List people, Let’s get out our pens!

Sunday, September 16, 2012

There Will Be Glory After This

 I believe that when we are all designed according to purpose, but I know that we need direction. After the sermon today I spoke to a friend that got smart with me because she felt I was saying she needed something that I didn’t. Now if you follow my blogs then you know I am always trying to check myself. So I considered her implication. I realized that Unlike her I am having a valley experience that will prepare me for the mountain. I have received a word from the Lord that has defined my future. I just have to survive this season and learn my lessons and stay focused on the promise. I have to give on-time and sow wisely. It may look like I am down, but I am in pursuit of purpose. There will be glory after this and I am getting ready to enjoy it without wasting it! So if you are going through what feels like Hell. If you are in the midst of trail that you are just depending on God to see you through, then understand this: FOR YOU TO EXPERIENCE A PRAISE YOU MUST SEE YOURSELF IN THE PROMISE.

People without vision perish because they lay dormant in life following every wind that blows. Ive been there and got the t-shirt hat and commeorative fan. I decided a long time ago that I would not keep going from on bad situation to a worse one. I wouldn’t go from a bad man to terrible one. I set some standards and in that area of my life things changed. So I began to decide some other things for myself. Now that I am nolonger emotionally out of control. I am moving on to the next arena of my life. Specifically in this season it is my career path. I am making a mental list of standards and I am going to see to it that I experience God’s best for me by seeking the promise. That’s a platform for success in any area of your life.


 When the promise is manifested, THERE WILL BE GLORY! GLORY defined: something that is a source of honor, fame, or admiration; adoring praise and worshipful thanksgiving; resplendent beauty or magnificence, or prosperity!

 --Nuff Said,

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Gay Marriage: Stop the Drama

Apparently in Alabama it is unpopular to support gay marriage. Now I will admit that I tend to oppose tradional beliefs just for the sport of it, but in reality this is an unreasonable argument.  If you are anti-gay rights fine but think about this for a moment. If an old woman can leave her cat $90 million and require that her executor donate the rest to charity when the cat dies and she is considered sane and her wishes are carried out by the court then gay marriage should be legal!

Here is the point. People want to say that just because the church does not sanction them they are wrong. Well in my opinion the Bible has been used to enslave nations and start more wars than it has been used as the center of peace and tolerance. So don’t start me on how this is not a religious argument! Well since this page is filled with white space let’s start me.

Before I make these highly intelligent points. I will say this. I am for Christ. I am a Christian and I believe on the Name of Jesus. I do however understand that it is my choice and my right as a human being to choose how and by what means I will find and serve God in this life. Now I and my fellow Saints fall out like tooth and tongue when it comes to the ideal that we are required to believe only what the bible says and we can openly read one or two versions and everything else is hypocrisy. And please do not behead me but I must admit that if the only way to God is through Jesus Christ then it would make Heaven a club for a certain kind of person and God had created us to diverse for that to be true. And what about the Jews that had a direct covenant before Christ came along? Why can’t we accept that the world is bigger than our box? This is my problem with religion, and anything that limits logic.

Here I am ranting about the definition of Holy Matrimony. Definitions are just socially adapted explanations of what something means. An additional collection of words to describe another word. So here is my question if two men living together becomes socially accepted as marriage will the definition be amended? According to history it should be Webster modified the dictionary with 15 new words in 2012. Because as we live we adapt and create, so how can we believe that we should be bound by any idea?

We all have to a pick a side of the argument, but I say when it comes down to it, it’s about human rights. It’s about a couple living together for ten years, one of them dying and the other being left with nothing because they didn’t hire an attorney and plan to have their time together cut short by a drunk driver.

Why aren’t we fighting about how the media normalizes homosexuality and promiscuity? Why aren’t we teaching our kids tolerance and respect for the reality that the world is made up of people who are nothing like them, just as much as it is people that are? They are born knowing that at our core we are all the same regardless of our choices. We take that reality from them by teaching them intolerance and hate.

So yes I a minority, single parent, inner city with an at poverty income supports gay-marriage because at our core we all want the same things regardless of our choices. 

Saturday, March 24, 2012

On Saving Some For Yourself

On saving Some For Yourself.

I have so neglected my blog, and for that I apologize. I have apparently been in a slump about my economic condition. Nevertheless, I have pulled myself together to make a point. In the famous words of Jay-Z: "You are who you are period!"

That being said I realize that I am a creative force. My characters invade my meditation, dialogue my dreams, and make me question my sanity. Who I am is so very engrained in my existence that I am defined by it.

If you want to know your divine purpose try this: research it! Didn’t think I was going there did you? The truth is when you have a gift it pervades your existence in such a way that no matter your normal personality traits based on geographic location, zodiac and upbringing, you are different.

For me I am by nature: Fun loving, focused, financially driven, a hard worker, a passionate lover, monogamous, talkative, and engaging. I am also a tea drinker that loves to party!

As a Writer I am: Anti-social, a loner, introverted, constantly distracted, and in need of more and more alone time. I am also a coffee drinker that prefers to sit in silence.

See what I mean by my creativity challenging my sanity? While these characteristics are drastically different they are common for my divinely chosen field.

Know yourself and the characteristics of your gift. It will not only make you understand that you are normal, and after all we all want to feel normal on some level, right? Knowing confirms to you that you are on your path!

I hope this helps you figure out that you are in your place!

Live Life Like You Only Get Once Chance